I’m starting my own micronation entitled ‘Novocastria’.
It has come to my attention that many disgruntled inner city Novocastrians are uniting with a unique set of ideas. The general concensus is that the concepts on which Newcastle was founded, like coal mining, steel production, flagrant boganism and The Newcastle Knights, no longer reflects these modern Novocastrian’s political and moral ideology.
This generation of open-minded and forward thinking inviduals care more about equality, the enviroment, finding the best coffee, drinking craft beer, and surfing. There is hope for a new generation of Novocastrians in which their home city will no longer be some background beach side town that you purposely avoid when driving between Sydney and Coffs Harbour. The movement is gaining momentum, somebody just needed to give it a name – ‘Novocastria’.
Step 1: First you need to be eligible:
- You must have a defined territory.
- You must have a permanent population.
- You must have a government.
- Your government must be capable of interacting with other states.
Territory definition is the easiest. The rest can come later. The red outline is my proposed borders for Novocastria. Basically it’s Newcastle, Newcastle East, Cooks Hill, Merewether and Merewether Heights. Of course I mean the real Merewether, not that fake north-side of City Road area, but still postcoded as Merewether to inflate their housing prices. You’re Hamilton South or Adamstown East at best!
The blue outlines represent the potential for two new rogue states ‘North Novocastria’ (alternative names – Carckham / Wickhington ) and ‘South Novocastria’ (alternative names – Dudadamshead / Dudhead Heights).
Step 2: Declare Independence
That’s easy, I’ll just borrow this quote from America’s greatest ex-president – President Thomas J. Whitmore:
Step 3: Be recognised by other countries
I have a brother and sister in New Zealand with some political weight, I’m sure they’ll endorse us. Castro will be in. Anyone have Kim Jong Un’s snapchat?
Step 4: Join the UN
I’ll mail in the application here:
The United Nations
First Ave. at 46th St.
New York, NY 10017
Finally we’ll need a flag and currency.
The currency should clearly be the DollaryDoo with basest denomination being 900, equalling approximately $1 australian e.g. A coffee would be cost Dd4500. That is assuming the DollaryDoo is adopted by Australia as it’s national currency, as outlined in this Change.org Petition.
Finally the flag, here is a quick mock up incorporating Newcastle Beach’s Google Maps Blue as background, with universal symbols for human rights, the world environment, general equality for everything and coffee.
Wish to join Novocastria? Currently the first positions requring filling include:
- Minister for the Environment
- Minister for Coffee
- Minister for Cold Drip Coffee (completely different role to Minister for Coffee)
- Minister for Non-Coffee Caffeine Alternatives
- Beach Minister
- Minister for Winter
Everything else can get filled later. Unfortunately the dual roles of Estonian Ambassador of Australia and Australian Ambassador of Estonia will be filled by the honourable Louis Zezeran.
One of Novocastria’s first acts will be to wage War against Cockatopia, the rogue Cockatoo based nation rising up in Kotara.